Do you write your speeches with encyclopedic diction?

Do you draw your speechwriting inspiration from legal documents?

Technical writing, essays, financial reports, and legal writings all have their place — but none of them belong in your speechwriting.

Speeches which use simple, conversational language are more enjoyable to listen to, easier to follow, and more likely to be remembered.

The fourth Toastmasters speech project guides you to use simple, but descriptive language in your speeches. This article of the Toastmasters Speech Series examines the primary goals of this project, provides tips and techniques, and links to numerous sample speeches.

Why is This Speech Important?

The aims for this speech project focus on your selection of words and phrases:

• Choose words and grammar which communicate clearly.
• Choose words and grammar which appeal to the senses.
• Eliminate jargon.

Tips and Techniques

1. Choose Descriptive or Story-based Topics

Any topic can work, but to flex your speechwriting muscles, choose a topic which lends itself to vivid descriptions. Speeches based around stories or experiences will challenge you to select words and phrases to transport your audience from their chairs to the setting where your speech takes place.

2. Use Sensory Language

Make your audience see what you see, feel what you feel, taste what you taste, smell what you smell, and hear what you hear. In short, draw upon all five senses to create a completely immersive description. Transport your audience to a movie theatre by describing:

• Sight: the dizzying special effects of the martial arts scene
• Smell: the wafting aroma of buttered popcorn
• Sound: the booming surround-sound effects which made you jump from your seat
• Taste: the sweet licorice Twizzlers which melt in your mouth
• Touch: the claustrophobic squeeze of your knees pressed into the seatback in front of you

3. Use Repetition Wisely

Repetition of phrases throughout a paragraph, and repetition of sentences throughout your speech make your speech memorable. Wrap your speech around a signature phrase.

4. Avoid Topics About Words or Language

I often see Toastmasters choosing topics for project 4 which are about words or some other aspect of language, like poetry or figures of speech. For example, both Barren Words and Metaphors (by Oleg) and Swearing (by Andrew E. Scott) are very interesting speeches with language themes.

However, I recommend against choosing this type of topic. Rather than talking about words, let the focus be on your use of words, phrases, and grammar. Similarly, for project 5 (your body speaks), you should choose a topic that allows you to use your body, not a topic that is about body language. Further, in project 8 (get comfortable with visual aids), you will learn more by using visual aids to enhance your message rather than talking about projectors or flip charts.

What I Did for Speech 4

I wanted to choose a topic that would allow me to employ sensory words, so I elected to speak about my recipe for barbecued hamburgers.

The title of my speech was Recipe for Love, although it came to be known by its signature phrase (“the Meat, the Method, and the Merge”).

Speech Organization

The speech was organized quite simply around the burger preparation process:

• Introduction — I introduced the topic by placing it in the context of things which had been said the previous week and were thus familiar to the audience.
• The Meat — Preparation of the burger patties
• The Method — Cooking the patties
• The Merge — Combining the patties with the bun, “fixings”, and condiments
• Conclusion — Quick summary which restated the signature phrase in the speech.

Rhetorical Devices

Rhetorical devices employed in this speech:

• Alliteration: “tasty tips”, “brilliant barbecued burgers”, “the meat, the method, and the merge”, “personally prepared patties”, “manufacturing a mouthwatering masterpiece for your mate”
• Repetition: “the meat, the method, the merge” was used throughout the speech

Sensory words and phrases

I deliberately crafted the speech so that it would appeal to all five senses:

• Sight — “could cause flames to shoot up, enveloping your burgers”, “pleasing cross-hatch pattern”, “feast for the eyes as well as the palette”
• Smell — “The spiced butter will start to percolate through the meat and will release aromas that will make you the envy of the neighborhood”
• Sound — “you’ll hear the pleasing crackle of the barbecue”
• Taste — “spicy butter mixture”, “crisp lettuce, ripe tomato, onions with pop, sweet pickles, chili peppers, smoky bacon”
• Touch — “take each patty in the palm of your hand, and press down forming a valley”, “massage the patty into a pleasing thickness and shape”

Topic Ideas for Toastmasters Speech 4

Example #1

The Impossible Task by Sara Piaskowy (written)

• Alliteration: “The task seems impossible, insurmountable, the idea is incomprehensible!”, “Sometimes it is staccato, sometimes smooth”
• Repetition: “smell” repeatedly (see below), “Now I LOVE mangos. Love in capital letters L.O.V.E. mangos.”; “I have learned how…” used in three consecutive sentences; “Burkina Faso has…” in four consecutive sentences near the conclusion.
• Simile: “the time like sand slipping through the hour glass”, “hit you like a brick wall”, “the strength and intensity of the heat makes you feel like the sun has come unhinged and is on a trajectory path headed straight towards you”
• Metaphor: “colors that can lift even the saddest of moods”
• Sensory phrases
  • Sight — “a river of motos zooming past”, “Ruffles and feathers and zigzag hem lines”
  • Sound — descriptions of music, “when there is no music… the sound of the language is what is entrancing”, “sing song, up and down, loud and soft quality to what I hear”
  • Touch — descriptions of dry, reddish dust everywhere; extreme heat
  • Smell — “there are several types of smells; there are rancid smells, urine smells, the smell of garbage, a body odor smell, dried fish smells, and don’t forget the smell of exhaust or the unpleasant odor of burning plastic which somehow wafts through your house unannounced.”
  • Taste — mangoes and other fruits, rice with red sauce, etc.

Example #2

1, 2, 3… Full stop! by Shrilatha Putthi (written)

• Repetition — “3-speech Toastmaster” is repeated many times in the speech; “nightmarish nightmare”
• Similes — too many to list (how many did you find?). Many go culturally beyond my North American roots, but one must remember that Shrilatha’s audience would be quite familiar with these cultural references.
• Alliteration — “tormenting truth”; “fun and frolic”; “gloriously grand gold”
• Triad (several are alliterative too) — “dejected, disgusted, and devastated”; “enjoyment, excitement, entertainment”; “I was, I am, and I will be…”

Example #3

Get Your Motor Running by Karen Woodson (video)

• Simile: “hit me like a ton of bricks” [0:57]
• Sound: “and then the powerful statement ‘Gentlemen, Start your engines’ is announced over the loud roar of the audience” [1:25]
• Sight: “a night race when the lights reflect off the shiny paint” [2:25]; numerous references to flags of different colors flying
• Triad: “bone-jarring, teeth-gnashing, wheel-spinning crash” [4:05]
• Alliteration and Triad: “covered in confetti and either champagne, coca-cola, or gatorade” [5:55]
• Another descriptive phrase: “as the rubber burns… roar of the engines… only during ‘cautions’ do the crowds relax enough to sit down” [3:35];

Example #4

The House on Silver Spring Lake by Leena Oh (video)

The opening paragraph embodies the goals of this project wonderfully. Fifty-nine words, and Leena uses sensory phrases which draw upon all five senses:

Imagine waking up in the morning, the sun streaming through the pine branches into your bedroom window (sight). You hear birds chirping (sound), and woodpeckers tapping for their breakfasts (sound). It’s chilly, so you try to stay in the warmth of your covers (touch) as long as possible, but you can’t resist the smell of breakfast and coffee (smell) drifting up from the kitchen.

Further, note that of those 59 words, only three have more than two syllables: imagine, woodpeckers, and possible.

More Examples of How to Say It

Here are a few more sample written and video speeches which may provide inspiration for you.

Written Speech Examples

• The Brain is Our Universe by Edwin Vinas
  Edwin provides a detailed analysis of his goals for the speech, and the audience reactions he hoped to provoke. This analysis includes a review of the rhetorical devices he employs.
• My Uncle Dinny by Séamus McInerney
  Filled with sensory phrases. e.g. “We would have tea stretched out before the cream coloured range. I can still smell the turf fire and hear the big clock ticking as it always did.“
• The Greatest Thing I’ve Done by Noryfel Bien
  The opening is especially strong for two reasons: 1) It darts through a series of descriptive experiences that are easily visualized. 2) It uses repetition effectively. “I haven’t” and “I’m not” are used multiple times before the key transition phrase “I am a teacher” which leads into the body of the speech.
• Are you getting the most out of your chocolate by Lu
  The choice of topic allows numerous taste, smell, and touch sensory phrases.
• Fueling the Cooking by Les Aquino
• Apocalypse Now by Nitesh Luthra
• You’re What You Eat for Your Breakfast by Amit Bhatnagar
• The Key to Understanding Me by comment dit-on

Video Speech Examples

• How to Keep a Conversation Going by Jason McGarva
• People Who Have Inspired Me by Pa Toastmasters member
• Why Skill Based Play is Good by Paul Miller
• Unknown by Capital Communicators member
• Kindergarten by Michelle Cohen
• Say Cheese by Sherry Lu
• Our Motivations by Eric Brown
• Unknown by Deepak Mittal
• Unknown by Daniel Habedank
• China is My Future by Beau
• The Decline of the U.S. Dollar by Elie Ishag
• Goodbye by Zeki Yimdirim
• How to eat during the holidays by Mary Ann
• The Art of Communication by Shenequa Mitchell
• The Language of Play by Emilie Staryak
• Profits of the Journey by Rosetta Ishag
• So Many Topics, So Little Time by John Armstrong
• The Endangered Species Act by Elizabeth Guzman
• Where Words Can Lead You by Arnie Buss
• Unknown by Tom Wilson

Next in the Toastmasters Speech Series

The next article in this series examines Toastmasters Speech 5: Your Body Speaks.

Similar Articles You May Like... Toastmasters Speech 3: Get to the Point Speech Preparation #6: Add Impact with Rhetorical Devices Why Successful Speech Outlines follow the Rule of Three Speech Analysis: I Have a Dream – Martin Luther King Jr. How can you inspire your audience? Ask 10-year-old Dalton Sherman. Toastmasters Speech 2: Organize Your Speech

Have a Question? Contact me anytime, or find me on Twitter: @6minutes

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.

Here’s a preview:

Including facts and statistics lends credibility to your assertions and grounds them in reality. Quoting a statistic from a credible source means that your arguments are no longer just your arguments: you stand united with experts.

However, a naked statistic – one provided without any meaningful context – leads to confusion rather than clarity. Numbers are often too large to grasp by themselves. Unless your audience are experts in the field, they won’t be able to intelligently interpret the statistic. You might get a momentary “wow” factor for a big number, but it won’t be memorable.

Read the rest of the article, including examples which illustrate techniques you can apply to improve your next presentation.

For further information on explaining data in a presentation, see my speech critique of Hans Rosling: Six Simple Techniques for Presenting Data.

Similar Articles You May Like... TEASE ‘em: 5 Ways to Start Your Speech Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It Toastmasters Speech 3: Get to the Point Free E-book – Visualizing Information for Advocacy: An Introduction to Information Design Speech Preparation #6: Add Impact with Rhetorical Devices Speech Preparation #5: Six Power Principles for Speech Editing

Have a Question? Contact me anytime, or find me on Twitter: @6minutes

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.

• “What was that about?“
• “He was all over the place today.“
• “What was her point?“

These are symptoms of a speech that had no clear objective and was not focused on achieving that objective.

The third Toastmasters speech project stresses the importance of clearly identifying your target objective, and then maintaining precise focus to achieve it. This article of the Toastmasters Speech Series examines the primary goals of this project, provides tips and techniques, and links to numerous sample speeches.

Why is This Speech Important?

Your aims for this speech project revolve around being focused and precise:

• Determine your general purpose.
• Focus in on your specific purpose.
• Ensure that the entire speech maintains focus on your objective.

The Easy Part: Get to the Point

Your first task is to get to the point. Before you generate an outline or your first draft, be sure you know your purpose precisely. Make sure you can state it in a single simple sentence.

A common pitfall is to choose topics which are too broad; remember that your time is limited. This can be challenging, but if you adopt the practice of determining your purpose before writing anything else, you will find this to be the easy part. (Read an earlier article about selecting a speech topic.)

The Harder Part: Stay Focused On the Point

The much harder part — and the part that many speakers struggle badly with — is staying focused on the point.

No speaker intends to stray from their purpose; rather, it happens quite accidentally. Somewhere between getting to the point and writing the first draft, a collection of off topic elements are inserted into the speech.

• It might be an off-topic opening anecdote which is “too good not to share”.
• It might be some jaw-dropping statistics that are only remotely related to the topic.
• It might be the latest whiz-bang effect in PowerPoint that is glitzy, but content-empty.

Find these extraneous elements, and eliminate them while editing your speech. Every element of your speech must reinforce your purpose. Each time you edit your speech, your goal should be to sharpen the focus. (Read a previous article with six power principles for speech editing.)

What I Did for Speech 3

My speech topic was Raising a Reader. (I had just finished reading the excellent book from Jim Trelease titled The Read-Aloud Handbook. I highly recommend it for parents.)

My original purpose was going to be to encourage the audience to be lifelong readers. I discovered a wealth of supporting evidence. However, I felt this topic was too broad.

Instead, I wrote my specific purpose: “After hearing this speech, the audience will be able to identify three reasons why reading aloud to a child is the best way to encourage them to be a lifelong reader.”

To support this purpose, my speech was organized as follows:

• Opening hook which illustrated the strong correlation between life success and a love of reading.
• Body of speech gave three benefits of reading aloud to children. Each was supported with simple facts and stories.
  • Reason 1 – Increase the child’s listening vocabulary.
  • Reason 2 – Gives the child a reading role model.
  • Reason 3 – Associates reading with pleasure.
• Conclusion repeated the three benefits and emphasized that these benefits were easy to achieve.

Other Ideas for Toastmasters Speech 3

Below are three sample speeches delivered to satisfy Toastmasters speech project 3. All three are excellent examples which have a very clear purpose and strong focus on that purpose.

For each of these three example speeches:

• What are the general and specific speech purposes?
  (Do you agree with those that I have listed?)
• What techniques were used to reinforce on these purposes?
• Was the speech focussed, or were there elements that did not belong?

Example #1

Lessons Learned in Napa by Emilie Staryak (video)

• General purpose: To persuade.
• Specific purpose: To convince the audience to be open to new experiences by sharing lessons learned on a winetasting weekend.
• The speech opening was strong. It identified the four lessons:
  1. You don’t have to be a wine connoisseur to enjoy Napa.
  2. Wine tasters are not as hoity-toity as you might think.
  3. Your tastes can grow if you allow them to.
  4. Don’t just stop to taste the grapes.
• Focus: The lessons were supported with a series of personal stories. Every story related to these lessons. For example, the first lesson is supported by sharing that she and her husband were beer drinkers, but are now planning a second trip.
  
• Conclusion: The concluding sentence (“Who would have thought that two beer drinkers would be planning a second trip to Napa valley?“) reinforces the speech purpose.

Example #2

You’re Going to Wear THAT?!? by Arnie Buss (video)

• General purpose: To inform
• Specific purpose: To provide advice in handing questions in a problem area.
• Introduction:
  • Opens with a problematic question (the speech title) that many in the audience have probably experienced.
  • Outlines 3 frameworks from which we answer questions
    1. our child self (the victim; taking blame)
    2. our parent self (passing judgment)
    3. our aware self.
• Demonstration #1: “Why do you only ever think of yourself?”
  Excellent demonstration which gives three possible responses which correspond to the three frameworks.
• Demonstration #2: “Does this dress make me look fat?”
  This question generates humor (particularly since asked by a male audience member). However, it isn’t focused because the speaker has no “good” answer.
• Demonstration #3: “Why don’t you ever take me anywhere?”
  Another excellent demonstration applying the three frameworks.
• Conclusion: A very solid conclusion which focuses on the specific purpose. He advises against using the first two frameworks, and then suggests using the third.
  “It doesn’t enhance the relationship to make yourself wrong [1 is bad]. It doesn’t help enhance the relationship to make the other person wrong [2 is bad]. So, whenever you’re asked an entrapping question, never answer it until you find out why its being asked. Track the intent of the question. [3 is good] Don’t take the blame, track the pain. [memorable closing line]“

Example #3

Value Generated vs. Mark-Up Fund Raising by Paul Miller (video)

• General purpose: To inform
• Specific purpose: Contrast two philosophies of fundraising, and suggest tools to evaluate fundraising strategies.
• Introduction: Clearly identified the specific purpose of the talk.
• Story #1 (Boy Scouts & popcorn): Excellent example of mark-up fund raising.
• Story #2 (Balloon dog): Excellent example of value generated fund raising.
• Numbers and Statistics: all focused on speech purpose e.g. “10 dollars leaves community versus 5 cents leaves community”
• Transition to the second half of the speech: Identifies 3 criteria for evaluating fund raising: (1) effect on individual (2) effect on community (3) effect on environment.
• More Stories: illustrate each of the three criteria

More Examples of Get to the Point

Here are a few more sample written and video speeches which may provide inspiration for you. For each speech, you might read (or watch) it first, and then check to see whether you agree with the general and specific purposes that I have listed for each speech. If you agree with me, then perhaps the speaker has achieved their purpose.

Written Speech Examples

• The Devil’s Gardens by Les Aquino
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To describe the relationship between the Schumanni ants and Hirsuta trees in the Amazon rain forest.
• Channelled Authorship by Seamus McInerney
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To describe the concept of channelled authorship.
  (The last line of this speech is priceless.)
• To Live Once by Edwin Vinas
  I will not give general or specific purposes for this speech because the speaker has specified his purpose along with the speech text.
• Break the Chain by Amit Bhatnagar
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To encourage the audience to stop forwarding chain email.
• Blushful Moments by Felicity
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To encourage the audience to celebrate embarrassing moments.
• You Put Your Left Arm In by Kane Baltetsch
  General purpose: To entertain
  Specific purpose: To share the history of the “Hokey Pokey” dance.

Video Speech Examples

• The Fair Tax by Alex Bein
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To convince the audience that a 23% national sales tax should replace individual income tax and several other taxes.
• A Mystery of Matter by Chance Litton
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To introduce the audience to the wave-particle phenomenon.
• Have a Little Faith in Yourself by Karen Woodson
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To highlight sources of low self-esteem and methods to improve self-esteem.
• Double Your Happiness By Doing This by Vince
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To persuade the audience to overlook the temptation to pass judgment.
• Appreciation by Heather
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To encourage the audience to appreciate life.
• Dyslexics are Anything But Dumb! by Rosetta Ishag
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To talk about the characteristics of dyslexia.

Next in the Toastmasters Speech Series

The next article in this series examines Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It.

Similar Articles You May Like... Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It Toastmasters Speech 2: Organize Your Speech Toastmasters Speech 1: The Ice Breaker Speech Preparation #5: Six Power Principles for Speech Editing Speech Preparation #1: How to Prepare a Presentation Toastmasters Speech 6: Vocal Variety

Have a Question? Contact me anytime, or find me on Twitter: @6minutes

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.

The previous article in the Speech Preparation Series showed you how to edit your speech for focus, clarity, and concision.

However, your speech can be focused, clear, and concise and still lack vitality.

If your speech is void of rhetorical devices, it is like a painting void of color.

On all technical points, a black and white sketch might clearly be a woman smiling, or group of men having a meal, but without color, it’s not the Mona Lisa or The Last Supper.

With many examples, this article demonstrates how you can inject rhetorical devices into your speech during the editing process.

Writing for Impact and Beauty

The study of rhetoric provides speechwriters with numerous rhetorical devices. When you use these devices, your presentations will be more impactful (easier to remember) as well as more beautiful (more pleasurable to listen to).

Of the very large number of rhetorical devices, we’ll investigate three types in this article:

1. Devices which involve sounds (often with repetition)
   e.g. alliteration, assonance, onomatopoeia
2. Devices which involve repetition of words, phrases, or ideas (often with parallelism)
   e.g. anaphora
3. Devices which change the usual meaning of words
   e.g. metaphors, similes

Many other devices not discussed here are worthy of study:

• Silva Rhetoricae: The Forest of Rhetoric
• Wikipedia: Figures of Speech

1. Rhetorical Devices: Sound

Sound-based rhetorical devices add a poetic melody to speeches. Not surprisingly, the net effect is that speeches are more pleasurable to listen to. Three of the most common forms are:

• alliteration — repetition of the same sound at the beginning of nearby words
  e.g. “what my wife wanted”, “her husband has had”
• assonance — repetition of the same vowel sound in nearby words
  e.g. “how now brown cow”
• onomatopoeia — a word which imitates the sound of itself
  e.g. “buzz”, “whoosh”, “meow”

2. Rhetorical Devices: Repetition of Words or Ideas

Two common forms involve repetition in successive clauses or sentences.

• anaphora — repetition of a word or phrase at the start of successive clauses or sentences
  e.g. Winston Churchill

“We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, [... many more ...] We shall never surrender.”

• epistrophe — repetition of a word or phrase a the end of successive clauses or sentences
  e.g. Emerson

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny compared to what lies within us.”

Repetition is a powerful technique used in other ways as well.

• Repetition is commonly used for emphasis.
• Repeating a word or phrase in different parts of the speech helps the audience make connections as if you were sewing your speech elements together with a thread.

3. Rhetorical Devices which change word meanings

Three common rhetorical devices by which words can take on new meanings are:

• Personification — giving human qualities to abstract ideas, inanimate objects, plants, or animals
  e.g. “The trees called out to me.”
• Metaphor — a comparison of two seemingly unlike things
  e.g. “Life is a highway.”
• Simile — same as metaphor, but using either “like” or “as”
  e.g. “Life is like a box of chocolates.”

These rhetorical devices, along with related concepts such as symbolism and analogies, are often the essence of storytelling as an effective means of communication.

Speech Critiques Showing Impact from Rhetorical Devices

Two of the speeches I previously critiqued are rich in the use of rhetorical devices:

• J.A. Gamache: Being a Mr. G. (Toastmasters, 2007)
• Steve Jobs: Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish (Stanford, 2005)

Why bother? I’m not a Greek orator

It’s true that your business colleagues may look at you funny if you deliver your next project status report sounding like Martin Luther King. While you may want to limit your use of these techniques a bit, don’t discount them entirely. Rhetorical devices in a business context are powerful. For example:

• Metaphors and analogies are excellent tools for explaining new concepts or new visions for your company.
• Repetition in a set of slides can be used to emphasize key results or recommendations.
• Devices like alliteration can be employed for slogans, mantras, etc.

Rhetorical Devices Example — Face the Wind

Below is one of the final drafts of my 2007 contest speech Face the Wind. Unlike the example shown in the previous article, the words highlighted are the result of many editing iterations, not just one.

• The left column has the speech text.
• The right column has a description of rhetorical devices used in the corresponding passage.

Key to Color-Coding

In addition to comments, I have provided color-coding for a few of the more commonly used rhetorical devices.

• Red marks alliteration.
  
• Green marks local repetition.
• Blue marks references to two phrases used throughout the speech: “strong roots” and “face the wind”.

Next in the Speech Preparation Series

Now that you have completed writing and editing your speech (for now), the next step is bringing it to life off the page. The next article shows you how to choreograph your speech with vocal variety, gestures, and staging.

Similar Articles You May Like... Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It Speech Preparation #5: Six Power Principles for Speech Editing Speech Preparation #4: Wrestling Writer’s Block to Write the First Draft Speech Preparation #1: How to Prepare a Presentation Book Review: Thank You For Arguing (Jay Heinrichs) How to Make Metaphorical Magic in Your Speech

Have a Question? Contact me anytime, or find me on Twitter: @6minutes

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.

Conventional wisdom says the best speeches are not written; they are rewritten. Yet, most speakers present content that falls between a first draft and no preparation at all.

Don’t be like most speakers.

Allow yourself the time to edit for focus, clarity, concision, continuity, variety, and impact. If you do, you will give your audience a performance that will dazzle them.

The previous article in the Speech Preparation Series showed you how to write the first draft of your speech.

In this article and the next one, you will develop the skills required to improve your speech through iterative speech editing.

Editing a Speech — An Iterative Process

Once you have a first draft, you begin to see how the different elements from your outline work together to form your speech.

The next step is a highly iterative one. Just as you cannot expect the first draft to be the final draft, do not pressure yourself to get it perfect after one session of editing. Expect to make many passes through your speech, with each pass leaving the speech a little better than the previous version.

As you proceed, avoid falling in love with any particular component of the speech. Maybe you have the perfect story or a great slide, but be prepared to cut it out if your core message can be conveyed in a better way.

Use Binoculars and a Magnifying Glass

When you edit your speech, you are doing two things in parallel:

• Macro-editing
  • Ensure that your paragraphs, sections, stories, and transitions combine to produce a well-organized speech that succeeds in delivering your core message.
  • You only have one chance to deliver your message to your audience. It needs to be easy to follow to guarantee their attention throughout.
  • For this, you need binoculars.
• Micro-editing
  • Edit your words, phrases, and sentences to find the precise combination of words that invoke emotions and create images in a memorable way.
  • To make your audience remember your core message, you need to make them remember your words and the images you created in their minds.
  • For this, you need a magnifying glass.

Accomplishing both tasks simultaneously is not easy. One approach is to focus primarily on macro-editing in your initial editing passes. Then, when you are happy with how the overall speech is coming together, change your focus and begin micro-editing. This is the basic approach that I apply.

Six Power Principles for Speech Editing

1. Edit for Focus

Audience response you want to avoid:

“The presenter was all over the map. It was confusing.”

Edit mercilessly if you have written something in an earlier draft that strays from your core message. All elements of your speech — every point, every statistic, every anecdote, every story, every joke, every visual aid — must support your core message.

2. Edit for Clarity

Audience response you want to avoid:

“The talk was interesting, but I just didn’t get it.”

On a macro-level, an earlier article of this series showed you that points in your outline should be sequenced in a way which mirrors the meaningful relationship. (e.g. chronological, spatial, cause-effect) Ordering your speech logically is one of the best ways to ensure clarity. Start with one point, and build out from there, as if you were adding one lego block to another over time.

On a micro-level, clarity is also important.

• Can the sentences be clearer?
• Have you avoided any tongue-twisters?
• Is technical jargon eliminated? (Your audience analysis will guide you.)

3. Edit for Concision

Audience response you want to avoid:

“He just went on and on and on…”

Inspiration is provided by Antoine de Saint-Exupery who wrote:

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

For each element of your presentation, ask yourself “Is this essential?” If the answer is no, cut it.

• Eliminate entire points or stories if the core message is conveyed without them.
• Eliminate sentences if the paragraph reads fine without them.
• Eliminate words which do not add meaning to the sentences.
• Replace long words with short words that convey the same meaning.
  e.g. use rather than utilize

4. Edit for Continuity

Audience response you want to avoid:

“She lost me after the fourth slide.”

Transition words, phrases, and sentences — bridging — are necessary to make your speech flow. Your aim is to avoid abrupt transitions where you can lose audience members. One point should feed naturally into the next. Sidebars and other diversions are the enemy.

5. Edit for Variety

Audience response you want to avoid:

“It was boring.”

Audiences like variety. It makes the speech more enjoyable, and it also helps you appeal to different types of thinkers.

Here are just a few ways to inject variety into a presentation:

• Move around the stage.
• Use a prop, slides, or other visual aids
• Break up long, serious stretches of a speech with humor.
• Engage the audience with a rhetorical question or an activity.
• Balance theory with practical statistics. Balance stories with logical arguments.

Note: Some of these are delivery techniques rather than writing techniques.

6. Edit for Impact and Beauty

Audience response you want to avoid:

“Nothing really stood out.”

There are many closely related techniques to make a speech memorable, including:

• Surprise the audience.
• Create vivid images.
• Appeal to the senses.
• Craft truly memorable lines.
• Use analogies, similes, and metaphors.
• Employ rhetorical devices throughout.

Several of these techniques are addressed in the next article of the Speech Preparation Series.

Speech Editing Example: Face the Wind

Here is an example of one editing iteration for my 2007 contest speech Face the Wind.

• The original version of the speech is in the left column.
• The revised version of the speech after editing is in the middle column.
• Comments or explanations are in the right column.

Key to Color-Coding

In addition to comments, I have provided color-coding to demonstrate the impact of the editing process.

• Old text removed
• New text added
• Text moved within a section
• Words, phrases, or sentences changed

Next in the Speech Preparation Series

The next article in this series shows you how to edit your speech to bring your speech alive with rhetorical devices. You will also see a much later draft of Face the Wind that will demonstrate this in practice.

Similar Articles You May Like... Toastmasters Speech 3: Get to the Point Speech Preparation #6: Add Impact with Rhetorical Devices Speech Preparation #4: Wrestling Writer’s Block to Write the First Draft Speech Preparation #1: How to Prepare a Presentation Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It Wrap Your Naked Statistics in a Warm Blanket of Meaning

Have a Question? Contact me anytime, or find me on Twitter: @6minutes

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.

Writer’s block is debilitating.
Writer’s block is discouraging.
Writer’s block stops average speakers from becoming great speakers.

Don’t let it stop you!

The previous article in the Speech Preparation Series gave tips for writing a speech outline.

This article shows you how to wrestle writer’s block by transitioning from a speech outline to the first draft.

How to Write the First Draft of a Speech

First, recognize the two most common causes for writer’s block, in the context of speech writing:

1. Lack of Direction: You lack clarity about what you want to say.
2. Large Ego: You believe the first draft must be a perfect speech.

The first cause — lack of direction — is easily avoidable if you are following the steps recommended in this article series. Previous articles have covered how to how to select your speech topic and core message through audience analysis, and how to craft a high-level outline. With your core message as your target, and your outline providing a blueprint, writing the first draft is within grasp because you know which direction to head.

The second cause — large ego — manifests itself by causing you to edit every sentence the minute you’ve written it in the hopes of producing a perfect speech on the first try. Even worse, perhaps you are editing and striking sentences in your head! This slows the speechwriting process like molasses flowing on a winter’s day.

Realize that the first draft is not the final draft — it need not be perfect. You will probably hate the first draft. That’s good. Channel that hatred into aggressive editing… later. Your goal in this stage is to capture the main concepts and ideas, not to have them in deliverable form.

Tips for Writing the First Draft

Writing the first draft used to be the most painful part of speech preparation for me. You can ease the pain with these mental tricks:

• Set a deadline. If you know your core message and you have an outline, there’s no reason why you can’t produce a rough first draft in a single sitting. A deadline is motivational magic.
• Write in bullet form. Write in sentences if you can, but if sentences aren’t flowing from your mind, then start with key words or phrases in bullet form.
• Write out of sequence. You don’t need to write the blocks of your speech in the order they appear on the outline. Quite often, speakers get hung up on trying to write the perfect opening. If the opening isn’t coming to you, start with a section in the body of the speech.
• Don’t worry about transitions. If your first draft doesn’t flow from one outline point to the next, don’t worry. Those can be fixed later. Often, my first draft contains notes to myself like this: “[Whoa... need bridging between these ideas.]“
• Don’t worry about words. Just get the ideas down using whatever words first come to you. You can edit for precision and better words later.
• Don’t worry about the length. It’s okay if your first draft is way too long. (It’s also okay if it is way too short, although most people don’t tend to have this problem.) This is an issue to solve in the editing phase.

My Speech has Slides. What is a Good First Draft?

If you adopt the advice in Presentation Zen (my book review) or Beyond Bullet Points, then don’t worry about slides in your first draft at all. Focus on drafting the oral component of your speech first. The slides, which are complementary, can be designed later. This is the process I recommend.

However, everyone has different habits, and if yours involve working on slides early in the process, then do what works for you. Keep these tips in mind:

• Don’t get too detailed. A good first draft slide might include a few words (a “title”, or maybe a quotation) along with a sketch of a figure (or a table, or chart, or some other visual component).
• Go low-tech. You can produce your entire first draft of slides on paper, or sticky notes, or on a whiteboard. There’s no need to tempt yourself with all the whizbang features of PowerPoint or KeyNote at this stage.
• Avoid the temptation to perfect the slides. Don’t worry about detailed drawings, or colors, or font sizes, or any other design criteria. Leave that for the next iteration.
• Slides alone are not a first draft. Produce a first draft of the oral component of your speech along with the slides. Producing a parallel written speech will help you avoid the temptation to insert all those words onto slides. Audiences hate reading text-heavy slides.

First Draft Example — Face the Wind

Here is the first written draft for my 2007 contest speech Face the Wind. This draft is more polished than the first draft of most speeches I write for two reasons:

• The core message for the speech was ruminating in my mind for several months.
• Though this is the first written draft, I drafted it virtually while commuting to and from work over several days.

However, as we’ll see in later articles, this draft bears little resemblance to the final draft.

Note that the draft headings correspond with the outline elements.

Hook / Opening

Mister Contest Chair, Fellow Toastmasters and guests…

A year and a half ago, my wife and I traded our condo keys for house keys. Our floor space doubled, but there were two much larger changes. First, our mortgage jumped from something quite manageable to something which scares me considerably. Second, the few hours that I once affectionately called “free time” became known as “yard work.” Yard work is a bit like working at MDA for me. I don’t have any clue what I should be doing half the time, but somehow I always end up being terribly busy.

Japanese Maple Tree

The first big project I tackled was to take care of numerous bushes and trees that were either dead or located in places where my wife didn’t want them. Most of this involved pulling dried sticks out of the earth. The Japanese maple tree was a bit different… it had leaves! So, rather than chop it out, we decided to move it to a prominent spot in the front yard.

“The two most common causes for speechwriter’s block are lack of direction and large ego.”

The tree was only seven feet tall. I quickly estimated that I would be done in time to enjoy a mid-morning lemonade. I started digging a hole around the tree about two feet in diameter. Unfortunately, the roots seemed to extend beyond that. I extended the hole to three feet… no luck. Four feet. No luck! After a few hours of digging, I had a moat around the tree, several feet wide and deep.

I exposed all the roots that I could see, and pulled on the trunk. When the tree didn’t pop out of the hole, I tugged harder. Tugs turned to yanks… yanks turned into full-fledged wrestling. Yes, when nobody is looking, this is what I do in my back yard… wrestle trees! Eventually, the tree took pity on me and fell over. I then discovered the source of the tree’s strength… roots as expansive as its branches! Strong roots… strong tree.

Planting it in the front yard was quite a bit easier. As I gazed up, exhausted, my eye was drawn to my neighbour’s yard. Specifically, the fifty-foot monster tree in my neighbour’s yard looming over my garage. I put on my engineering cap, and walked a few houses down the street so I could get a good perspective. No doubt about it… that tree would easily crush my garage if it ever toppled over. Good thing trees have such strong roots.

Storm

Many months later, the yard work mercifully ended with the rainy season. Or, perhaps I should call it the wind storm and snow season. During the first big wind storm, I was in Quebec on a business trip. I flipped on the news, and was amazed to see footage from BC on the national news – gigantic trees falling to the ground and on buildings.

Terror flashed before me… could my neighbour’s monster tree be toppled by the wind? I called my wife. She reported that the gas BBQ had been lifted off the deck and slammed into the house. However, the monster tree stood tall, and only a few of its branches littered my yard.

Yet, the television footage was real. This hit home when my wife and I were driving through Stanley Park some weeks later. It was impossible to imagine how so many trees could be knocked over.

A theory was put forth by several arborists in Greater Vancouver. Perhaps it was not the force of the wind alone. Rather, it was the force combined with the direction. Apparently, the wind storms of 2006 came from an unusual direction. Each time the wind blows, trees become stronger as they resist it. But, since these trees had never had to face a strong wind from this particular direction, they were “side-swiped” and unable to cope.

In case you were wondering… my Japanese maple tree was hardly touched by the wind.

Maximus

The events of this past week reminded me of the importance of facing the wind head-on.

Over the past few years, my sister-in-law Michelle and her husband Lance have had a pair of pregnancies cut short by miscarriage. This was obviously heartbreaking, but Michelle and Lance have strong roots. When the wind came, not once, but twice, they faced the wind head on, and did not let it topple them or their dream.

On Sunday night, a phone call a few minutes shy of midnight announced the birth of their son, Maximus. The name is Latin for “greatest”, and he certainly is a great joy. However, Maximus was born a full month premature, and so he is confined to an incubator. It seems he still needs to face the wind a little longer… but his roots are strong, so I’m confident he won’t be toppled.

Conclusion…

Fellow Toastmasters, we can’t control when the wind comes, how powerful it is, or its direction. However, we can control our response to it. We can try to evade it, and risk being side-swiped… or we can face the wind head-on.

Mister Contest Chair…

Next in the Speech Preparation Series

The next article in the Speech Preparation Series discusses six power principles for speech editing. You’ll see these principles were applied to transform Face the Wind as well.

Similar Articles You May Like... Speech Preparation #6: Add Impact with Rhetorical Devices Speech Preparation #5: Six Power Principles for Speech Editing Speech Preparation #1: How to Prepare a Presentation Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It Wrap Your Naked Statistics in a Warm Blanket of Meaning Toastmasters Speech 3: Get to the Point

Have a Question? Contact me anytime, or find me on Twitter: @6minutes

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.

Speech preparation is the most important element to a successful presentation, and also the best way to reduce nervousness and combat fear.

The Speech Preparation Series is a series of articles examining each of the six steps which are necessary to properly prepare for a speech.

These steps are briefly introduced here, and investigated in more depth in later articles:

1. Select a speech topic

This may seem like an easy task, but there are infinite public speaking topics. How do you choose the right one? How do you select a topic which is a perfect fit between you and your audience?

Your topic leads to your core message — the entire presentation aims to deliver this core message to your audience.

The second article in this series focuses on selecting a speech topic.

2. Create a speech outline

Your speech needs structure. Without structure, your audience will either wonder what your core message is or they will lose interest in you entirely. Sadly, this step is often skipped to “save time.” A planned outline is vital.

The third article in this series shows how to craft a speech outline and provides several examples.

3. Write the speech

Speech writing is an iterative process which begins with your first draft. Writer’s block can handicap speakers at this stage. The fourth article in the series discusses how you can avoid that trap to write your first speech draft.

Once the first draft is created, speech writing involves iteratively massaging your speech into its most effective form. Keeping your ego in check, you are wise to edit mercilessly. The fifth article in the series shows you how to edit your speech for focus, clarity, concision, continuity, variety, and impact.

Remember that speeches should be written for the ear; adopting figures of speech will keep your speech from sounding like an essay or legal document. The sixth article in the series shows you how to add impact and beauty to your speech with rhetorical devices.

4. Apply gestures, staging, and vocal variety

At this stage, the words are ready, but that’s all you have — words. A presentation is not read by the audience; it is listened to and watched.

The seventh article in the series explains how to choreograph your speech with vocal variety, gestures (micro movements), and staging (macro movements). These elements should seamlessly complement your words and punctuate key phrases.

5. Practice and solicit feedback

Great speakers seem natural when they speak, almost as though they are speaking the words for the first time. Nothing could be more wrong. Rehearsing your speech makes you a master of the content. Soliciting feedback and acting on it gives you confidence that your presentation will be a success. The eighth article in the series explains how to achieve maximum benefits from your rehearsal time.

6. Self-Critique: Prepare for the next speech

Although listed as the final step in the process, it’s really the first step in preparing for your next speech. After you’ve delivered your speech, examine your performance objectively. This will solidify lessons learned as you prepare for your next speech challenge.

The ninth article in the series provides examples of questions to ask yourself as you critique your own speech.

The article series concludes with advice aimed at preparing to win a Toastmasters speech contest.

See the Six Steps in Action

Throughout this series of articles, I’ll be showing you how I applied these steps when preparing for one of my own speeches. My hope is that these practical examples will help you apply the techniques to your own personal presentation.

The speech I’ll reference is an inspirational speech I prepared and delivered for the Toastmasters International Speech Contest in 2007 titled Face the Wind.

Watch it now, and then read the articles to see how a short conversation with a friend months earlier led to this speech.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I would like to thank Chuck Denison for allowing me to use the Face the Wind video for this article series. Chuck has been the videographer for all recent Toastmasters District 21 contests. Videos are produced by Golden Memories Video Productions and available from him [email]. Chuck provides services to speakers who wish to produce a video to enhance their marketing strategy. On top of all that, he’s very friendly and professional.

Join the conversation. Share your experiences and describe what you do to prepare for a speech.

Next in the Speech Preparation Series

The next article examines how to select a speech topic which is the perfect fit for you and your audience.

Similar Articles You May Like... Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It Toastmasters Speech 3: Get to the Point Speech Preparation #6: Add Impact with Rhetorical Devices Speech Preparation #5: Six Power Principles for Speech Editing Speech Preparation #4: Wrestling Writer’s Block to Write the First Draft You are Invited to Write for Six Minutes

Have a Question? Contact me anytime, or find me on Twitter: @6minutes

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.