• “What was that about?“
• “He was all over the place today.“
• “What was her point?“

These are symptoms of a speech that had no clear objective and was not focused on achieving that objective.

The third Toastmasters speech project stresses the importance of clearly identifying your target objective, and then maintaining precise focus to achieve it. This article of the Toastmasters Speech Series examines the primary goals of this project, provides tips and techniques, and links to numerous sample speeches.

Why is This Speech Important?

The stated objectives for this speech project revolve around being focused and precise:

• Select a speech topic and determine its general and specific purposes.
• Organize the speech in a manner that best achieves those purposes.
• Ensure the beginning, body, and conclusion reinforce the purposes.
• Project sincerity and conviction and control any nervousness you may feel.
• Strive not to use notes.

The Easy Part: Get to the Point

Your first task is to get to the point. Before you generate an outline or your first draft, be sure you know your purpose precisely. Make sure you can state it in a single simple sentence.

A common pitfall is to choose topics which are too broad; remember that your time is limited. This can be challenging, but if you adopt the practice of determining your purpose before writing anything else, you will find this to be the easy part. (Read an earlier article about selecting a speech topic.)

The Harder Part: Stay Focused On the Point

The much harder part — and the part that many speakers struggle badly with — is staying focused on the point.

No speaker intends to stray from their purpose; rather, it happens quite accidentally. Somewhere between getting to the point and writing the first draft, a collection of off topic elements are inserted into the speech.

• It might be an off-topic opening anecdote which is “too good not to share”.
• It might be some jaw-dropping statistics that are only remotely related to the topic.
• It might be the latest whiz-bang effect in PowerPoint that is glitzy, but content-empty.

Find these extraneous elements, and eliminate them while editing your speech. Every element of your speech must reinforce your purpose. Each time you edit your speech, your goal should be to sharpen the focus. (Read a previous article with six power principles for speech editing.)

What I Did for Speech 3

My speech topic was Raising a Reader. (I had just finished reading the excellent book from Jim Trelease titled The Read-Aloud Handbook. I highly recommend it for parents.)

My original purpose was going to be to encourage the audience to be lifelong readers. I discovered a wealth of supporting evidence. However, I felt this topic was too broad.

Instead, I wrote my specific purpose: “After hearing this speech, the audience will be able to identify three reasons why reading aloud to a child is the best way to encourage them to be a lifelong reader.”

To support this purpose, my speech was organized as follows:

• Opening hook which illustrated the strong correlation between life success and a love of reading.
• Body of speech gave three benefits of reading aloud to children. Each was supported with simple facts and stories.
  • Reason 1 – Increase the child’s listening vocabulary.
  • Reason 2 – Gives the child a reading role model.
  • Reason 3 – Associates reading with pleasure.
• Conclusion repeated the three benefits and emphasized that these benefits were easy to achieve.

Other Ideas for Toastmasters Speech 3

Below are three sample speeches delivered to satisfy Toastmasters speech project 3. All three are excellent examples which have a very clear purpose and strong focus on that purpose.

For each of these three example speeches:

• What are the general and specific speech purposes?
  (Do you agree with those that I have listed?)
• What techniques were used to reinforce on these purposes?
• Was the speech focussed, or were there elements that did not belong?

Example #1

Lessons Learned in Napa by Emilie Staryak (video)

• General purpose: To persuade.
• Specific purpose: To convince the audience to be open to new experiences by sharing lessons learned on a winetasting weekend.
• The speech opening was strong. It identified the four lessons:
  1. You don’t have to be a wine connoisseur to enjoy Napa.
  2. Wine tasters are not as hoity-toity as you might think.
  3. Your tastes can grow if you allow them to.
  4. Don’t just stop to taste the grapes.
• Focus: The lessons were supported with a series of personal stories. Every story related to these lessons. For example, the first lesson is supported by sharing that she and her husband were beer drinkers, but are now planning a second trip.
  
• Conclusion: The concluding sentence (”Who would have thought that two beer drinkers would be planning a second trip to Napa valley?“) reinforces the speech purpose.

Example #2

You’re Going to Wear THAT?!? by Arnie Buss (video)

• General purpose: To inform
• Specific purpose: To provide advice in handing questions in a problem area.
• Introduction:
  • Opens with a problematic question (the speech title) that many in the audience have probably experienced.
  • Outlines 3 frameworks from which we answer questions
    1. our child self (the victim; taking blame)
    2. our parent self (passing judgment)
    3. our aware self.
• Demonstration #1: “Why do you only ever think of yourself?”
  Excellent demonstration which gives three possible responses which correspond to the three frameworks.
• Demonstration #2: “Does this dress make me look fat?”
  This question generates humor (particularly since asked by a male audience member). However, it isn’t focused because the speaker has no “good” answer.
• Demonstration #3: “Why don’t you ever take me anywhere?”
  Another excellent demonstration applying the three frameworks.
• Conclusion: A very solid conclusion which focuses on the specific purpose. He advises against using the first two frameworks, and then suggests using the third.
  “It doesn’t enhance the relationship to make yourself wrong [1 is bad]. It doesn’t help enhance the relationship to make the other person wrong [2 is bad]. So, whenever you’re asked an entrapping question, never answer it until you find out why its being asked. Track the intent of the question. [3 is good] Don’t take the blame, track the pain. [memorable closing line]“

Example #3

Value Generated vs. Mark-Up Fund Raising by Paul Miller (video)

• General purpose: To inform
• Specific purpose: Contrast two philosophies of fundraising, and suggest tools to evaluate fundraising strategies.
• Introduction: Clearly identified the specific purpose of the talk.
• Story #1 (Boy Scouts & popcorn): Excellent example of mark-up fund raising.
• Story #2 (Balloon dog): Excellent example of value generated fund raising.
• Numbers and Statistics: all focused on speech purpose e.g. “10 dollars leaves community versus 5 cents leaves community”
• Transition to the second half of the speech: Identifies 3 criteria for evaluating fund raising: (1) effect on individual (2) effect on community (3) effect on environment.
• More Stories: illustrate each of the three criteria

More Examples of Get to the Point

Here are a few more sample written and video speeches which may provide inspiration for you. For each speech, you might read (or watch) it first, and then check to see whether you agree with the general and specific purposes that I have listed for each speech. If you agree with me, then perhaps the speaker has achieved their purpose.

Written Speech Examples

• The Devil’s Gardens by Les Aquino
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To describe the relationship between the Schumanni ants and Hirsuta trees in the Amazon rain forest.
• Channelled Authorship by Seamus McInerney
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To describe the concept of channelled authorship.
  (The last line of this speech is priceless.)
• To Live Once by Edwin Vinas
  I will not give general or specific purposes for this speech because the speaker has specified his purpose along with the speech text.
• Break the Chain by Amit Bhatnagar
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To encourage the audience to stop forwarding chain email.
• Blushful Moments by Felicity
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To encourage the audience to celebrate embarrassing moments.
• You Put Your Left Arm In by Kane Baltetsch
  General purpose: To entertain
  Specific purpose: To share the history of the “Hokey Pokey” dance.

Video Speech Examples

• The Fair Tax by Alex Bein
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To convince the audience that a 23% national sales tax should replace individual income tax and several other taxes.
• A Mystery of Matter by Chance Litton
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To introduce the audience to the wave-particle phenomenon.
• Have a Little Faith in Yourself by Karen Woodson
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To highlight sources of low self-esteem and methods to improve self-esteem.
• Double Your Happiness By Doing This by Vince
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To persuade the audience to overlook the temptation to pass judgment.
• Appreciation by Heather
  General purpose: To persuade
  Specific purpose: To encourage the audience to appreciate life.
• Dyslexics are Anything But Dumb! by Rosetta Ishag
  General purpose: To inform
  Specific purpose: To talk about the characteristics of dyslexia.

Next in the Toastmasters Speech Series

The next article in this series examines Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It.

Similar Articles You May Like... Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It Toastmasters Speech 2: Organize Your Speech Toastmasters Speech 1: The Ice Breaker Speech Preparation #5: Six Power Principles for Speech Editing Speech Preparation #1: How to Prepare a Presentation Video Critique: J.A. Gamache (Toastmasters, 2007)

Have a Question? Contact me anytime, or find me on Twitter: @6minutes

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.

Conventional wisdom says the best speeches are not written; they are rewritten. Yet, most speakers present content that falls between a first draft and no preparation at all.

Don’t be like most speakers.

Allow yourself the time to edit for focus, clarity, concision, continuity, variety, and impact. If you do, you will give your audience a performance that will dazzle them.

The previous article in the Speech Preparation Series showed you how to write the first draft of your speech.

In this article and the next one, you will develop the skills required to improve your speech through iterative speech editing.

Editing a Speech — An Iterative Process

Once you have a first draft, you begin to see how the different elements from your outline work together to form your speech.

The next step is a highly iterative one. Just as you cannot expect the first draft to be the final draft, do not pressure yourself to get it perfect after one session of editing. Expect to make many passes through your speech, with each pass leaving the speech a little better than the previous version.

As you proceed, avoid falling in love with any particular component of the speech. Maybe you have the perfect story or a great slide, but be prepared to cut it out if your core message can be conveyed in a better way.

Use Binoculars and a Magnifying Glass

When you edit your speech, you are doing two things in parallel:

• Macro-editing
  • Ensure that your paragraphs, sections, stories, and transitions combine to produce a well-organized speech that succeeds in delivering your core message.
  • You only have one chance to deliver your message to your audience. It needs to be easy to follow to guarantee their attention throughout.
  • For this, you need binoculars.
• Micro-editing
  • Edit your words, phrases, and sentences to find the precise combination of words that invoke emotions and create images in a memorable way.
  • To make your audience remember your core message, you need to make them remember your words and the images you created in their minds.
  • For this, you need a magnifying glass.

Accomplishing both tasks simultaneously is not easy. One approach is to focus primarily on macro-editing in your initial editing passes. Then, when you are happy with how the overall speech is coming together, change your focus and begin micro-editing. This is the basic approach that I apply.

Six Power Principles for Speech Editing

1. Edit for Focus

Audience response you want to avoid:

“The presenter was all over the map. It was confusing.”

Edit mercilessly if you have written something in an earlier draft that strays from your core message. All elements of your speech — every point, every statistic, every anecdote, every story, every joke, every visual aid — must support your core message.

2. Edit for Clarity

Audience response you want to avoid:

“The talk was interesting, but I just didn’t get it.”

On a macro-level, an earlier article of this series showed you that points in your outline should be sequenced in a way which mirrors the meaningful relationship. (e.g. chronological, spatial, cause-effect) Ordering your speech logically is one of the best ways to ensure clarity. Start with one point, and build out from there, as if you were adding one lego block to another over time.

On a micro-level, clarity is also important.

• Can the sentences be clearer?
• Have you avoided any tongue-twisters?
• Is technical jargon eliminated? (Your audience analysis will guide you.)

3. Edit for Concision

Audience response you want to avoid:

“He just went on and on and on…”

Inspiration is provided by Antoine de Saint-Exupery who wrote:

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

For each element of your presentation, ask yourself “Is this essential?” If the answer is no, cut it.

• Eliminate entire points or stories if the core message is conveyed without them.
• Eliminate sentences if the paragraph reads fine without them.
• Eliminate words which do not add meaning to the sentences.
• Replace long words with short words that convey the same meaning.
  e.g. use rather than utilize

4. Edit for Continuity

Audience response you want to avoid:

“She lost me after the fourth slide.”

Transition words, phrases, and sentences — bridging — are necessary to make your speech flow. Your aim is to avoid abrupt transitions where you can lose audience members. One point should feed naturally into the next. Sidebars and other diversions are the enemy.

5. Edit for Variety

Audience response you want to avoid:

“It was boring.”

Audiences like variety. It makes the speech more enjoyable, and it also helps you appeal to different types of thinkers.

Here are just a few ways to inject variety into a presentation:

• Move around the stage.
• Use a prop, slides, or other visual aids
• Break up long, serious stretches of a speech with humor.
• Engage the audience with a rhetorical question or an activity.
• Balance theory with practical statistics. Balance stories with logical arguments.

Note: Some of these are delivery techniques rather than writing techniques.

6. Edit for Impact and Beauty

Audience response you want to avoid:

“Nothing really stood out.”

There are many closely related techniques to make a speech memorable, including:

• Surprise the audience.
• Create vivid images.
• Appeal to the senses.
• Craft truly memorable lines.
• Use analogies, similes, and metaphors.
• Employ rhetorical devices throughout.

Several of these techniques are addressed in the next article of the Speech Preparation Series.

Speech Editing Example: Face the Wind

Here is an example of one editing iteration for my 2007 contest speech Face the Wind.

• The original version of the speech is in the left column.
• The revised version of the speech after editing is in the middle column.
• Comments or explanations are in the right column.

Key to Color-Coding

In addition to comments, I have provided color-coding to demonstrate the impact of the editing process.

• Old text removed
• New text added
• Text moved within a section
• Words, phrases, or sentences changed

Next in the Speech Preparation Series

The next article in this series shows you how to edit your speech to bring your speech alive with rhetorical devices. You will also see a much later draft of Face the Wind that will demonstrate this in practice.

Similar Articles You May Like...

• Toastmasters Speech 3: Get to the Point
• Speech Preparation #6: Add Impact with Rhetorical Devices
• Speech Preparation #4: Wrestling Writer’s Block to Write the First Draft
• Speech Preparation #1: How to Prepare a Presentation
• Toastmasters Speech 4: How to Say It
• Wrap Your Naked Statistics in a Warm Blanket of Meaning

Andrew Dlugan is the editor and founder of Six Minutes. He teaches courses, leads seminars, coaches speakers, and strives to avoid Suicide by PowerPoint. He is an award-winning public speaker and speech evaluator. Andrew is a father and husband who resides in British Columbia, Canada.